By Cat Thurmon
Do you think I complain too much? Are you tired of hearing the truth? Trust me, I don’t tell you all of it — what you hear is only a small part of what is truly going on.
I’ve been suffering with this for so very long in silence. Always saying I’m fine. Smiling and pretending. Finally I have come to the conclusion that I’m not fine and that’s OK. Why do I lie all the time? Why not tell the truth?
Are you tired of hearing that I am not well today? Imagine living the life I live. Imagine never having a moment when you truly are fine. A moment when you could honestly say all is well. What I wouldn’t give to have such a life. So if you are uncomfortable hearing the truth from me, that all is not well, then don’t ask. I’m through lying. I’m through hiding and trying to pretend.
It’s OK that I’m ill. It’s not my fault. I have no control over it and that’s all right, too. I’m coming to terms with all of this and if you love me you’ll want to learn. Inform yourself so you understand me a little more. I’m not the person I once was. I can no longer be that person and that is just the way things are. I am me.
I am sick. There is something wrong with me. Why should I not share this with those that care about me? Why should I have to hide the person I am now? I’m not OK. I suffer from fibromyalgia. This causes me tremendous pain, fog, sleep difficulties and depression among many other things. These things wax and wane, but they never leave me in peace. Never do I have a day when all is well. There is always more to it than that.
Love me for who I am. Learn to accept that all is not well. Educate yourself so you know what it’s like to be me. Get the word out that fibromyalgia exists, that it’s real and that it affects someone you love.